Geography – where people that don’t know where Canada and Mexico (our neighbors) are located on a map.
Basically, geography is the dirt you are standing on, the dirt the structure you are standing in is sitting on or even the dirt under he water your are in at the time of reading this.
Despite what a presidential candidate said, we do not have 57 states. The last map I saw recently only had 50 states. If he had not refused to wear a flag lapel pin and place his hand over his heart as the national anthem was played maybe he could have looked down and counted the 50 stars on the flag which represent the 50 states of America.
People, lets get something straight here when it comes to geography. Canada is north of the U.S. (or UP for a simpler way of saying it) and Mexico is south of the U.S. (or DOWN). There are rumors that Mexico now wants a fence between them and the U.S. to keep doltish Americans out of their country. They want to progress (go forward) instead of digressing (going backwards).
Hints On What Oceans Flank America
Here is a simple way of knowing which oceans the U.S. is surrounded by. A large number of pacifists live on the west coast (clustered in California, Oregon and Washington state). They are sometimes know as the left over “hippies”. Remember pacifists live on the Pacific Ocean. God put up a big mountain chain to keep that flock separated from the rest of his flock, but it seems to be flowing over eastwardly. Now, if we look at the right side of the U.S. map we see where the Atlantic Ocean is located there. This area of the country there is a well know city called Atlanta, Georgia. Remember, Atlantians live on the Atlantic Ocean. Now every one should know the oceans that flank the U.S.
That Other Body Of Water
Lets not leave out the Gulf of Mexico on the map. Scientist say it was made by a giant meteor that struck that part of North America. The large crater filled up with water and is now called the Gulf of Mexico.
Imagine you are in a canoe in the Atlantic Ocean and you row west (going left on a U.S. map) around the last stretch of sand and dirt in Florida (Key West, Florida). If you will look at a U.S. map, it’s those little skinny chain of islands trying to get away from Miami.
Now stop rowing and look to your right – this is Florida. Now look to your left – this is Cuba (you do not want to wander over there – something about a time warp going on there). Now pick up your oar and continue rowing west until you get really, really tired. Now you are in the Gulf of Mexico. You left the Atlantic Ocean and now you are in the Gulf. Since you are in a canoe, Cancun, Mexico is on your left (where Americans go on vacation to get away from the US’s illegals problem. Remember Cancun (as in Cancunians – population approx. 33,273) live and play on the beaches on the LEFT and America (as in Americans – population 300,000,000 (300 million) and the government is losing count) live and play on the beaches on the RIGHT (Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana and Texas shorelines. You know – those coastal dwellers that keep getting blown away year after year, year after year and they keep moving back to do it all over again.
If I were elected president I would give everyone living within 25 miles of the ocean 30 years to clear out (get out of town). Using Imminent Domain. Then I would make all coast lines a Federal Access Park stretching 25 miles inward in all states bordering the Atlantic Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico from Virginia to Texas. The national guard would pull 2 week rotations in the park to keep them safe and it would be their training grounds a well. This would include hotels, motels, businesses and homes. The Native American Indians knew better than to live on the beaches. They only visited the coast to catch fish and gather food and go back to their villages built in safer grounds. Like President Bush said in a speech, “fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”
By the way- FYI, her is a tidbit that may cause you to get less sleep tonight. Those Putin Russians can hang out 12 miles off the coast of America. It is called the ‘International Waterways’ beyond 12 miles out. Their Naval missles can go hundreds of miles in range.
Those Confusing U.S. Rivers
Just because the river’s name is Tennessee River, doesn’t mean it is in Tennessee. That only means it originated in Tennessee. So when you look at a map and you see a river (e.g. Arkansas River goes through Kansas – Todo, we’re going through Kansas now).
A word of caution… if you live down stream on a river (w-a-y down stream) you may want to move (see my 3pt. text disclaimer). Because all the people up stream are polluting your drinking water something terrible. If you only knew what man is dumping into our clean God given waters. Now, if you get upset because this describes your water – you may want to be active in riding U.S. Rivers and streams of pollution. Now you may be like a lot of today’s mislead Americans – “I don’t care ‘cause I drink soda and beer, why else would they come in flavors and colors.” I am not pushing extreme pollution control here – just START cleaning our environment and set a goal that is reasonable instead of causing price hikes and joblessness and shut downs.
We should at least know the 8 major rivers in the U.S. They are: Columbia, Colorado, Missouri, Brazos, Rio Grande, Mississippi, Ohio and St. Lawrence. The acronym to help you remember these 8 U.S. major rivers is: “Lawrence, Oh Mi, Miss Columbia’s Grande Bra Color is…”
America’s Mountains
America’s lower 48 states has two major mountain ranges, the largest is on the Western part of the U.S. map (Rocky Mountains) and the medium range mountains are on the Eastern part (Appalachian Mountains). Think of it as Rocks & Apples. There are lots of rocks on the Rocky Mountains and lots of apples on the Appalachian Mountains. Say it again “Rocks & Apples.” By the way “Appalachian” is pronounced Ap-pa-lay-chin.
Speaking of GEOGRAPHY, as mentioned under my common sense article on “LAND-o-CHANGE, here is an example of one type of secret donor LIBERAL (code name Olive Oil) who probably donated to and supported Obama’s LAND-o-CHANGE. See tilted and leaning left actress Joan Collins do the weather.
(to be continued ‘As The World Turns’)
